Archive for September, 2012


09.29.2012 Sunset

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My best friend challenged me around 4 years ago to look in the mirror.

As I did, my head lowered and tears fell. I hated what I saw because all I could see was what negative people had said to me.

He stood behind me holding me tight. When he asked me what I saw I began with words I had heard over and over and over again… ” ‘I am fat, ugly and stupid. I am an idiot who doesn’t know anything.’ I see a very scared woman who doesn’t know if she can survive alone. I see a very frightened little girl.”

He hugged me so tight and whispered in my ear “you have been robbed of the privilege of seeing an amazingly intelligent and absolutely beautiful woman. You are very lost but only you can answer what path you want to take in your life. May I tell you what i see?”

“Absolutely.”

“I see beauty, not just your outward beauty but also the kind and loving soul that has a heart more incredible than anyone I have ever met before.”

“then you have not met many people have you?” I interjected.

He hugged tighter “Woman!! I also see a woman with a comeback for almost anything I say! And a child’s playful spirit that encompasses a decisive, level headed, reasoning person. I have yet to find a subject that you do not have an opinion on or don’t know something about in detail. I see a woman who doesn’t argue her point, just states it matter of factly. You have swayed how I think many a time because of your reasoning behind what you have said. I see a brave woman who doesn’t know she is.”

This man has always asked me if I have been looking in the mirror… he has encouraged me to look deeper than the glass, to look at Amy, not as anybody’s anything but just as Amy. As I tell him of the setbacks in my life he encourages me to go back to the point when things went awry and take a different path, not to allow setbacks to hinder me from a goal. And when I talk to him about something exciting in my life he smiles, you know that big ear to ear grin? Then he asks me “Are you beginning to see and believe in the Amy that I know?”

With that, I would challenge you all, with the love that has been shown to me, Look in the mirror, not as anybody’s anything but as you. What do you see? Do you see a lie that negative people have made you believe or do you see the person you want to be, have every ounce of becoming or are?

Trying to hurriedly take a deeper look as I help Bill by being a beta reader. I can’t wait for him to be able to publish the third book in his trilogy. He strikes many chords in me with his art and I am thankful he trusts me to help him out.
Bill Jones.. you are awesome Hunny!!
Oh and thanks for one of my fave songs too!!

This Blog Intentionally Blank

I write many different stories, with quite differing themes. But in most, there is a single underlying theme. It blows gently there, like whispers of an autumn wind. It is love, silent, but there. I do not mean this to sound maudlin; love takes many forms and is not always gentle. Sometimes, love hurts or kills, or takes possession of that which it should not have. But at it’s best, it is merely present – strong and pure.

Perhaps that is why it continually sneaks – unbidden – into my writing.

From Emprise

Robin reached toward him, cupping his cheek in her hand. A delicate henna glove of geometric patterns had been etched into her skin. Charlie looked down and realized that her sandals were likewise only henna. She had been walking, barefoot, for miles, on a sea of glass.

“You look beautiful like that,” she said. For a moment…

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The most exciting news in a long time…Seattle city council voted 6-2 last night in favor of Chris Hansen’s new arena to be built near Safeco Field and Qwest Stadium, to house a new basketball team. It still has to pass King County Council and an environmental review but this has got Seattle folks screaming in the streets. After I first moved here I watched as the city’s heart broke when the Sonics were bought out and moved to Oklahoma. Protest after protest in front of the Federal Courthouse, it was a sea of green jerseys and protest signs. There are still hurdles to jump but Seattle is beginning to stomp its feet, the beginning of a cheer for a new home team.

The plus side…we are looking at the possibility of an NHL team also.

No matter how much I look forward to these possibilities I have one issue. My frickin commute is gonna suck because I drive past the stadiums to get to and from work each day!

When anyone tries to take their subjective opinion and make it seem like an objective fact, remember, its ok to not believe all that you are taught and you don’t have to follow someone blindly.

One of the reasons I was such a horrid student…because I always felt I had the right to formulate my own opinion and not believe everyone elses ideas. Especially a teachers!

I remember telling my short stories teacher that my character was an uneducated person after her complaints that I was writing phonetically. I wanted to the reader to understand him through my writing and not just say “my character is dumb”. She explained that it was I that was uneducated, my response was to mouth off “then you should be fired for not doing your job”.

Needless to say, Mr Marcolin, the student counselor, and I got to know each other well in those three years, but there was not one single phone call to my parents. I just stood firm that I had a right to think independently.

The fundamentals of education are critical but when its time teach different styles please use your brain!

Last thoughts…

Just because

you don’t see beauty in something

does not mean

the beauty doesn’t exist

Love this <3

Home

I lay there in his embrace as he brushes my hair with his fingers and tells me I will be ok. He looks at me, just an hour after we have met up, tears flowing down my face and asks why I am crying. Its so hard to explain, or is it??

I cry because I am sated with joy being with him and memorizing every feature of his face for the millionth time. What if I will never look in his beautiful eyes again? Allowing me to peer in his soul, to see all of his secrets, his trust in me is not taken lightly as I am the harbor to which he anchors safely.

Tear filled blue eyes study him, wondering how he knows that his fingers in my messy tendrils are like a lightning rod to which all my emotion flows. Does he know my heart is racing and the sound of the blood pumping deafens me?

I am lost in him. Afraid to blink, I might never see him again… my crying deepens into a quiet sob.

He pulls me into his strong chest, arms enveloping me so tight. Brushing the hair away from my forehead so he can press his lips against my skin, time slows. My heart stops momentarily and I silently beg God to let me die in the perfect moment. My soul cries out to the Father…please don’t let this moment end.

Shutting my eyes, hoping my pleas are heard, He allows me to slip into a deep slumber in the arms of love. For now the restlessness of longing for my love is at peace. I know, in this very moment what home means.